As some of you may remember, we weened him off of his pacifier around his 2nd birthday. We cut a hole in it and he lost interest in it after only a few days. Easy enough, right? But then, The Nightmare happened. I don't know if I ever blogged about it, but he had a horrible, horrible nightmare and every night going to bed was traumatic because he was so scared. He was even terrified to sleep in our bed with us. In fact, he preferred to stay in his own bed. It happened before he was talking very well so it was hard to figure out exactly what he was afraid of. Long story short, in an effort to help relax and soothe him at night, we gave the pacifier BACK to him. Only this time with the stipulation that he could ONLY have it for naps and bedtime. He understood that and has been great abiding by that rule. It helped get us through the nightmare phase and that was the most important thing.
Lets fast forward to the present....I thought his 3rd birthday would be the perfect time to say goodbye to the pacifier because, well, he is 3 and he "shouldnt" still have it, right? Leading up to his birthday I prepped him that he was going to have to throw it in the garbage can because 3 year olds are too big to suck on pacifiers. I knew it was going to be an issue once it came down to it and it was. Troy got him to throw it away on Monday and when bedtime came we had an episode and I ended up rocking him to sleep. Tuesdays nap was a little difficult, but I let him sleep in my bed and that worked. Last night was fine, but it took him quite awhile to fall asleep and resorted to the "Mom, I need_______" diversion tactic. Today, no nap. Here are my thoughts on the issue now that our plan is action.
1. Hearing him cry so sadly and say, "Mommy, I don't want to be big Stockton, I want to stay little Stockton" just breaks my heart and makes me want to cry. Is it weird that making him give up his pacifier means that he is, in fact, growing up and by letting him keep it I would be letting him stay "little" for just awhile longer????
2. Does no pacifier mean the end to naps? Because, if so, I will let him keep it until he is 18.
3. What damage am I really causing him by letting him keep it? Am I not allowing him to develop the skills necessary to "soothe himself" to sleep?? Is it really going to mess up his teeth? I mean, seriously what kid doesn't "need" braces these days anyways???
Basically I just feel like if there are more good reasons to let him keep and it if it makes him happy, then why do I feel so much pressure to take it away from him? What is it really actually hurting to let him suck on it when he goes to sleep? Its not like he is going to show up to Kindergarten with a pacifier in his mouth. Or am I just feeling like this because it is hard for me to see him sad about it and because I don't want to let go of "little" Stockton?
What do you guys think? Have you, as parents, gone through a similar situation?
6 comments:
I haven't had the problem myself but I found an article that you may want to look at. http://life.familyeducation.com/toddler/sleep/42317.html
I did read that pacifiers can cause more than crooked teeth- misaligned jaw & narrowing of roof of the mouth were the ones that caught my eye. more than braces needed for those problems. Good luck!
I think you should absolutely not worry about letting him keep it, as long as he understands it's just for sleeping! I think 3 is a bit old for a binky at other times, but you know what a sleep-nazi I am, and I think that anything that helps him get the sleep his needs is OK. Don't feel like a bad mom at all if he keeps using it. I have a dental-hygienist friend who let her boys have their binkies until they were 3, so I wouldn't worry too much about the crooked teeth thing (like you said, most people end up with braces anyway--binky or no binky) So, do what feels right to you, and don't worry what other people tell you!
Aaron just turned 3 too, and although he never really took to a pacifier, he STILL has a milk "baba" every night before he goes to sleep and for his at-home nap-times. He'll even occasionally have one in the morning when he wakes up. Yeah - I'll admit it looks funny because he's a big kid with a baba, but I know he's not going to keep it forever. The way I see it, they're only little once - so let em be little. And just trust that your motherly instinct will tell you if it REALLY starts to become a problem. (Just my 2 cents) =)
We love binkies at our house. My 5 kids all took them, and except for my 4th, they all kept them for sleeping after they were a year old. My 3rd had hers until she was 4 1/2, because, HELLO, she would still nap!! We had various methods of helping them get rid of them, but for the most part I let them dictate when that happened. With Daniel, my 5th, we starting talking to him, around 3, about leaving his binky for the "binky fairy". We told him that she, like the tooth fairy, would leave money for any binky that he left under his pillow for her to take away. He had 3 or 4. Eventually, he started to leave them, one at a time. He got a little money, and I took him to the dollar store to pick something out with his money from the binky fairy each time. Worked like a charm.
Having said all of that, I will tell you that #3 is now almost 13, and in braces. She also had to have an expander, and the orthodontist did say that the roof of her mouth was narrowed due to the extensive use of the pacifier. So, in retrospect I wish I had pushed her to give it up a little sooner. She was almost 5.....But, hey, she slept so nicely, and I had 2 older kids, and one younger by that time. I was keeping my sanity.
I think it's totally healthy for a kid to have a comfort item! With some kids it's their blanket or a stuffed animal or a binky. My daughter had her binky until she was about 4 1/2. But she knew it had to stay in her bed. She took great naps and when she was having a really bad day she'd just go lay down in her bed with her binky for a while--WAY better than screaming and crying.
let him be little Stockton ;) I can hear him cry that and it saddens my heart :( as a thumb sucker until I was in 1st grade. I had a very nice straight set of teeth. if it makes him feel safe and comfortable, plus takes naps and doesn't cry (I can hear him all the way to utah) it really isn't hurting anything is it ? but his feelings are being hurt.. :( I don't think it will make him less of a man or makes him a big baby or ruin his teeth. just don't let him cry... please let him have comfort. even though I did like the sound of rocking him to sleep. I loved to rock all my babies to sleep some times all at once which made it a bit hard to get up after you fell a sleep. maybe his own bottle of lavender oil a little dab softly stroked on his temples and the base of his neck, a few drops on his pillow or in his bath, mixed with water in a spray bottle mist here mist there, at night never hurt anyone. that I know of anyway. Or maybe give him a cotton ball, like his auntie amy liked to hold in both hands, between her toes, under her chin, in her ears, or sometimes up her nose. not sure why she did that, guess she liked the feel of cotton.. as weird as that little habit was she sure turned out to be a very good well rounded person. Like you said you really don't know what the nightmare was about, that brought on the need, of this comforting thing. maybe it can be replaced with some magical miracle cure, to everyones agreement. but please don't make him get to big. just be glad he is potty trained. :) and no bottles.
Post a Comment